For My Daughters,
From the first moment you could understand me, I’ve told you the same thing: never play dumb. Curiosity is your superpower. The pursuit of knowledge is non-negotiable. And most importantly, do none of these things because they “sound good.” Do them because they make you an owner in your life, rather than a participant in someone else’s idea of it.
There are so many ways to lose “ownership.” Sometimes it can start with something as harmless as a joke, one that sneakily morphs into internalized fact.
A few years ago, there was a meme floating around the internet about “girl math.” It really bothered me. I hope by the time you read this letter, the “girl math” meme will be a distant memory and not just replaced by some new iteration.
The punchline of “girl math” was making light of women’s financial decisions, implying that we use silly tricks to justify spending. Things like, “When you buy a shirt on sale, you’ve actually made money!”
At first, it was funny and relatable. But the humor quickly morphed into something more damaging: a cultural permission slip for women to downplay their financial literacy. It became trendy to act like women don’t get it, like we can’t get it. It glorified the myth that women aren’t good with money, that we’re frivolous, and that real math is for someone else (read: someone male).
I know people will say “it’s just a joke,” but I started worrying that this kind of content, without any contrasting message, would lead girls like you to think that this was what was expected of them.
Let me be crystal clear: it’s not.
Never underestimate what you are capable of.
You see, I watched the results of these cultural expectations play out in real time with some of my female clients. Women would come to me after various life events (a divorce, a death, an unexpected tax bill, student debt they could not shake) and instead of anger or confusion, they’d lead with shame. They would say things like: “I’m not good at money, I never understood this stuff,” and/or “I should have paid more attention.” It broke my heart every single time because what I heard underneath wasn’t incompetence, but rather a system that had never bothered to explain the rules to them. A system that I know was designed to keep them out in the first place.
The financial industry was not built with women in mind. That’s not an opinion, it’s history. Before the Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974, women often needed a male co-signer just to get a loan, a mortgage, or a credit card. The infrastructure of exclusion ran deep. And while the laws have changed, the cultural messaging has been slower to catch up. I’ve lived this firsthand. Working my way up the ladder in a male-dominated industry meant constantly proving I belonged in rooms I had every right to be in. There were moments I wasn’t taken seriously, moments where the easiest path would have been to shrink. I didn’t. I stayed focused on what I could control. If we are being honest, I earned my CFA credential partly because I felt those three letters at the end of my name compensated for the 2 at the front — Ms.
Then came the layoff when our firm restructured. Just like that, a job I had built my identity around was gone. It stung. But it also cracked something open. I had a real choice to make: climb back on the same ladder or build something entirely different. I chose different. I found my way to GreenUp Wealth Management and I built my own practice in a way that actually aligned with my values. Where success meant positively impacting someone’s actual life – versus the bottom line on a company’s P&L. That decision, that leap, changed everything, including how I show up for you.
Becoming your mom reshaped my sense of purpose in ways I couldn’t have predicted. I wanted a career that worked with our family, not against it. I wanted to be present. And I wanted to build something that mattered beyond a paycheck. Something you would be proud of. “Girl Math with Grace” was born from that place. I launched it to reclaim the phrase, flipping the script and proving that women are not just capable with money, they can be exceptional with it. Chief Financial Officers of their households. Savvy investors. Generous givers. Intentional builders of wealth.
I want this for you. I want you to know the difference between building something and being a cog in someone else’s machine. And girls, that takes time. It takes years of learning, observing, and doing the work nobody else wants to do. It takes patience with the process. But it’s the work needed to step into your ownership with confidence, direction, and wisdom.
Here is what I know for certain: when women say they’re “bad at money,” they almost never mean it literally. What they mean is that no one ever made it accessible. No one taught them the language. No one treated their questions like they deserved a real answer. That ends with you. And it ends with me.
You are capable of so much, my girls. I want you to grow up knowing that your intelligence is powerful, your voice matters, and you have every right to understand and control your future (financial or otherwise).
Know your numbers, ask questions, and make decisions that align with your values. That’s the real “girl math,” and you should do it all without apology.
Love,
Mom